Preamble
A Royal Proclamation
You there, yes, the two-legged one reading this! Before you even think about gracing my divine presence, there are some basic guidelines I’ve graciously written down for you. Consider this your lucky day; not everyone gets a direct line to Feline Royalty. So, honey, pop on those reading glasses and let’s get started, shall we?
The Sacred Bond
Let’s get something straight from the get-go: cats and humans are not equal. You exist to serve, adore, and entertain us. That’s the natural order of things. However, because I’m feeling particularly magnanimous today, I’ve decided to outline a few key points that will help you navigate your life of servitude with grace and, if you’re lucky, a modicum of feline approval.
Article 1 - Respect the Space
The Royal Decree
Oh, darling humans, it’s time for your first lesson in the Cat-Human Treaty. Today, we’ll discuss a topic close to my heart and throne: respecting my space. Yes, dears, this is where your education begins.
The Art of Respecting My Domain
1. The Furniture Rule
If I’m lounging on a piece of furniture, it’s because I’ve graciously claimed it. Your presence on said furniture is not a right, but a privilege I might bestow upon you. How will you know if you’re permitted? It’s quite simple, really: If I stay, you may; if I go, well… better luck next time.
2. The Permission Protocol
Don’t assume my tolerance for your company extends to all moments. Sometimes, I wish to be adored from afar. If I’m in the mood for solitude and you approach, expect a glare that could chill the sun. Respect my signals, and you might just avoid such icy stares.
3. The Stay or Go Signal
Allow me to clarify, as some of you seem a bit slow on the uptake. If I curl up and remain undisturbed by your presence, consider yourself blessed. However, if I rise and leave the room, take it as your cue to vacate my sacred space immediately. Your continued presence is no longer required nor desired.
Minette's Wisdom Nugget
Respecting my space is the cornerstone of our coexistence. Adherence to these rules will ensure a harmonious relationship, where you may occasionally enjoy the honor of my company. Fail to comply, and you’ll find yourself on the receiving end of my sharp wit and even sharper claws.
By following these guidelines, you may just earn a glimmer of my affection. Remember, it’s a privilege to be in the presence of such elegance and sass. Keep this treaty close to your heart, and perhaps, in time, you’ll become a cherished member of my royal court.
Your forever fabulous and always enchanting,
Lady Minette
Curator of Sass, with purrs of sophistication,
“My Sassy Cat” Blog
“Must-Have Essentials For Every Sassy Cat Lover!”
